the story of my life.

written in the stars

2010-07-24T17:08:00.004+08:00

forget wishes darling, you're my shooting star.

good times, good friends. good laughs, good smiles.

who said happiness was hard to find? we just got to realise how damn lucky we are once in a while.

i initially wanted to post this(see blockquote) as my status but who knows how much of a hoo-ha it'll cause. haha, facebook is a gossip-inducing, homework-distracting site man.

there should never be a full stop after i love you because love never, ever ends.

anyway,

i know i've been blogging alot less lately. when homework becomes regardless-of-time-and-place-and-mood-work, time seems to run by a hell of a lot quicker. more updates soon!

and yes, 'Inception' is by far one of my favourite movies ever produced. add in a little love and alot of amazing friends in a gold class cinema, friday evening was amazing.

but materialistic things aside, these people make me smile. every, single day.

"goodnight love, i can't wait to tell you good morning."

like a heart needs to beat

2010-07-14T23:03:00.003+08:00

don't let me go.

it's been forever since i've blogged.

but that 'forever' has been more than amazing.

"between i miss you & see you again, that's exactly where i'll be."

don't forget to breathe tonight

2010-07-03T23:41:00.007+08:00

when everything's wrong, you're so right for me.

the pretty necklace was given to me by someone equally beautiful. thanks valerie, you never fail to make me smile.

something made me smile today.

today i realised that beauty isnt superficial. it shines from the inside out, and not the other way around. everyone is beautiful, because God makes no mistakes. sometimes, we just need to remind the people around us that they're beautiful.

hello reader, you're beautiful, don't ever forget that.

and the other day, i found a jellybean in the shape of a heart. adorable to death. i couldn't bear to eat it.

oh and, remember when i said "i can't find the right words to say", well some things just arent meant to be put into words. some things, are meant to be felt.

nobody betterer

2010-07-01T22:32:00.005+08:00

my heart beats baby.

today was amazing.

other than the common tests i suffered through from 9 to 12 then from 3 to 5(and which by the way are finally over after four days of immense torture), dinner with friends makes my day any day. no matter how crappy common tests made me, they always make me feel like school's worth the pain.

i came across this question on facebook in a note i was tagged in.

have you ever fallen for a friend?

yeah, each and every one of them i love to the moon and back.

happy birthday lynette!

with love.

2010-06-25T10:12:00.008+08:00

beauty in the breakdown?

shut the hell up heart, brain is trying to think.

i can't find the right words to say. i think i'm going crazy. oh well, one word for now, family.

moments like these, we'll hold on dear.

from the heart

2010-06-21T20:22:00.006+08:00

sugar rush & love songs

facebook is telling.

"if you like this status, i'll post something i like about you on your wall."

a few days ago, my newsfeed was filled with heartwarming posts. and every single post made somebody smile. the person that came up with it is amazing, because friendship gives me hope.

gives me hope

i want to see the people around me happy. i want to see the people around me smile. because every single one of them is gorgeous and no one can take that away.

every single one of them deserves to be happy.

sometimes things don't turn out the way we want it to. sometimes it hurts so sometimes we cry, but it's okay. there's hope at the end of a tunnel. and hell, if it's a train, all the better so then we don't have to walk & we'll just enjoy the ride.

the next time i make a wish at 11:11pm, i'll wish for this.

love in spite of time

2010-06-20T22:03:00.004+08:00

same smiles, different hearts.

happy daddy's day!

yes daddy, i still remember you going, "daddy's little princess" to me.

xoxo?

pushing daisies

2010-06-17T10:25:00.003+08:00

roses or heartaches?

remember the times when we were kids and crayons made us happy? or the times when dressing up made us giggle and laugh? or those gameboys, cartoons and toys?

how come happiness and age feels inversely proportionate? the older we get, the less happy we seem.

amanda had a bad day today.

well, my day's not exactly over yet. so cross fingers it'll get better.

anyway.

i can't seem to remember if i got a text in the middle of the night yesterday, read and then deleted it or, if i just dreamt the whole thing up. haha in any case, i give up trying to figure it out.

some things just arent meant to be figured out. like H2 mathematics along with all of life's biggest questions. (no, i will not ensue discussing academia on my blog because it is way too depressing and we all know it ends up with a sad smiley anyway. sad sad, ugly urgh truth.)

& imy but i don't know why.

oh sweetnothings

2010-06-14T21:28:00.006+08:00

hold your breath & hold on baby.

there's a someone in my life i miss right now.
there's a someone in my life i am worried for.
there's a someone in my life i hope is safe.
there's a someone in my life i forgive.
there's a someone in my life i want to see again.
there's a someone in my life i can't(& won't) forget.

stay in my life, alright?

without reason, sweetheart

2010-06-13T20:48:00.004+08:00

perfection in the little flaws we learn to love.

today was a colossal waste of time.

just the way i like it. i even napped in the afternoon just because i could. my days are hectic even throughout the holidays. so i figured we just all need some time to thoroughly do utterly nothing.

andddd.

so much food.

plus buffet for father's day next sunday. amanda feels fattified. haha it's time to run, run, run.

but just far enough to make you miss me.

when hearts collide

2010-06-13T11:11:00.007+08:00

chocolates & you.

my dog thinks she's my boyfriend.

i think i love her too.

today is sunday. today i intend to do absolutely nothing. because sometimes, the simplest things in life, brings us the greatest joy.

"You know, if i were to die right now, in some sort of fiery explosion due
to the carelessness of a friend... well, that would just be okay."
-spongebob

please don't break it.

misses

2010-06-08T22:31:00.003+08:00

like our wishes at 11:11pm

sometimes we just need to trust that things will turn out just fine.

the way my hand fits in yours.

between you and me

2010-06-06T22:51:00.003+08:00

like sunshine, baby.

today was good.

good food and heartfelt laughs. warm smiles and familiar faces.

days like this, i wish it never ends.

overdue hugs

2010-06-04T18:00:00.005+08:00

would you hold my heart?

yesterday was good.

one day out with my dslr and about 150 photos later, amanda is one happy happy kid.

been out shopping these days with dear mummy and dear friends. if only my mugging was as productive as my shopping, i'd be a genius. but mummy says i got too many clothes. so i spent the entire day(a few days ago), clearing out my closet. and i stand by my facebook status i posted after clearing it, "amanda yew does not have too many clothes, just too small a closet(:"

haha okay i admit it, i do have a lot of clothes.

but i do not have too many clothes. there's a difference alright.

so while shopping with the three chiobus,

"i ate a hot chick!" -rachel

dessert baby, oh sweet sugar rush. haha. yup "hot chick" from "slice" @ far east plaza. caramel+chocolate+bananna+peanuts+ice all on one plate. divine.

left early to meet the dancers to catch SMU's dance concert. you got to love art fests.

camwhored, laughed and camwhored somemore.

oh and, one last thing, i now know a mr pms. hahaha, boys.

"love. your heart will thank you."

heartbreaks and heartbeats

2010-06-02T21:01:00.009+08:00

all the world's our playground.

life can be such a pain in the ass sometimes.

there's the good, the bad, and the things in between. so it takes some getting used to. apparently a decade over isn't enough. that's why we live til we're (hopefully) hundred so we get the experience and we get to grow.

but no one ever really knows if we'll just end up growing fat in the end.

angsty moments suck like vacuum cleaners.

so amanda will suck it up and live with it.

we all do, in the end don't we? because we're all kids at heart and we do stupid things just for the fun of it. then we say, "but we tried our best!" even though sometimes deep down we mentally cross our fingers and feel bad for lying.

who can blame us? when they said, "do the right thing!", they never gave us an answer sheet to life that told us what was right or wrong. so we go day by day like headless chickens learning from our mistakes and standing up time and again after we run into walls and fall on our asses.

haha but that's the fun of it, no?

it's time to be strong now.

dear wishes & love

2010-05-31T23:55:00.000+08:00

love like mother like daughter.

happy birthday mummy, i love you to bits and little pieces.

oh, wishes like candlelight.

after hours romance

2010-05-30T09:12:00.005+08:00

entangled hearts.

i really wish i could read minds sometimes.

where's edward cullen when you need him? even dracula would do. somebody bite me already.

so if i can't read yours, here's a little insight to mine; hello i don't get it, what the hell do you freaking mean it's not like i'm psychic or something so can you start over in english please?

okay, you know that feeling you get when you think you did something wrong but you don't know what the hell you did wrong? yeah well, it sucks.

but at least, it's not the end of the world.

anyway, today i woke up thrice.

once at 1:30 in the morning , the second time at 7:15 and i finally got my ass off of my really comfy bed at 8:45. but one of those times, i woke up smiling so damn hard cause i thought my dream was more than a dream. (stop imagining my retarted, grinning face!)

note to self: stop smiling.

haha this might take a while.

but, dream of me too, will you?

matters of that beating thing

2010-05-29T08:29:00.005+08:00

dirty little secret, guilty little pleasures.

when life throws you questions, its time to relive those civics and moral education lessons we never payed attention to in school. unfortunately, the only thing i remembered doing in those classes was giggling over gossips or rushing undone homework.

but hey, i still got an 'A' for it in secondary school, clearly printed on my report book.

funny how we can be tested for our attitude and morals by pen and paper exams, no?

but anyway,

what should amanda do now?

now that hearts are on the line.

when you come around

2010-05-27T21:32:00.005+08:00

gives me hope.

okay, what can i say, lectures can get boring. hello freedom! and urgh hello homework, hello mugging, hello common tests. life can be such a bitch sometimes.

but, tomorrow will be good. cross fingers.

& hello love.

tempted hearts

2010-05-27T19:19:00.004+08:00

for whom, does your heart beat for?

a little open honesty would be nice, a little hope would be good.

but i love things just the way they are right now.

all that love & laughter

2010-05-26T21:06:00.001+08:00

hold her heart dear.

tomorrow's the last day of school.

& if i did my standing broad jump now, i could probably jump over the mat cause i'm really jumping for joy. (imagine my retarded, grinning face here.)

okay so maybe this holiday is overrated. common tests mark the end of our precious off days buttttttt, we just all need a break from things. and i need to catch up on my perpetual tutorials which never ever seem to end.

it's gonna be a long, long day tomorrow. but let's hope it'll be a good one.

and oh,

do you dream of falling in love?

undeniably

2010-05-25T20:50:00.003+08:00

of chocalate and friendships.

i spent 11 and a half hours in school today .

something, somewhere went terribly wrong. if school's supposed to educate us and nurture us into learned young adults, how come i feel anything but intellectual?

oh, i feel stupified.

today didn't go all that well.

but someone did something to make me smile today. i hope someone did something to make you smile today. and we'll all do something to make someone smile tomorrow. here's to those who long to find something to smile for and to those who smile in hope of it.

cause darling, your smile makes me smile.

can you see her heart smile?

2010-05-24T21:45:00.000+08:00

little pocketfulls.

amanda is waiting for a text message.

but it feels like she's holding her breath, waiting for nothing to happen.

kiss, kiss

2010-05-23T20:34:00.000+08:00

sweet, chocolate, sugar-coated.

life takes us by surprises.

sometimes its like walking into a wall. but other times, its like realising there's a rainbow above you. if everyone before us survived for so long, it cant be all that bad. everyone has something to live for, we just need to forget that less.

today, i spent the day mugging at the library and htht(heart to heart talk)-ed with a friend i haven't seen in a while. made my day, made me smile.

tomorrow, common tests befalls on our poor tortured souls. i feel like @!£$%*&+.

but dear friend, thanks for making my life in school suck a lot less.

& oh yes, take a hint, stupid, she's in like with you.

every little thing you do

2010-05-21T19:31:00.009+08:00

it feels so right to be here with you.

today, i woke up thinking, 'so maybe today won't be such a bad day.'

and for the first time in a very long time, i didn't feel like i was lying to myself just to make myself feel better. it's the damn-shiok-no-school-on-a-weekday feeling that got me smiling. study day today. well, more like attempted mugging day.

but today was good.

heartwarming.

photos from aristal 2010 below.

flowers from beloved friends gmh.

one day, we'll open our hearts to love again.

of roses & passion

2010-05-21T00:01:00.000+08:00

when stars lean down to kiss you.

it's like i want to stand up and dance and i could have danced all night.

but it's midnight and my bed misses me. this photo made me smile, i hope it makes your day.

sweetheart, oh your smile.

heart to heart

2010-05-20T22:00:00.002+08:00

baby, you're my sweet chaos.

4 months and 1 new blog post. so it's been a while.

sometimes, we start to wonder, we start to think. sometimes, we know things and sometimes we don't. sometimes, we miss someone, something, somewhere, someyou. sometimes, we hate the world but sometimes, we can love like the world believes. sometimes, we cry. sometimes we laugh. sometimes, we hope there's hope when sometimes we think it's not worth it anymore. sometimes, we dream of a happily-ever-after in the sometimes we hold onto that one perfect moment. sometimes, we smile and sometimes we frown. sometimes, we find our sky falling but sometimes we just don't believe it. sometimes we wonder how the hell we got here, sometimes we forgot what we used to be. sometimes, it sucks. sometimes, we listen to others even when sometimes we can't hear ourselves.

sometimes, we start to think, we start to wonder.

but most of the time, i. just. don't. know.

so sometimes, we just got to have a little hope that every tomorrow will be better. and it's time to be strong now; i will not be broken by words. he said, she said. but only sticks and stones will break our bones, no?

everyone deserves happiness.

snowflakes & love songs

2010-01-07T18:30:00.003+08:00

just because.

out of the snow and into the sun.

korea was one hell of a blast. i couldnt have asked for a better (belated) christmas present or a happier white new year.

photos and details soon.

i think. err. i hope.

misses too

2009-12-30T19:11:00.006+08:00

old photo, new smiles.

oh and amanda will be in korea for a while.

miss me, will you?

2009-12-27T23:32:00.003+08:00

laughter, tears and your smile

a long day & a cute night.

had a belated christmas party today which started off a little bit awkward but ended on a happy note. we played games and had urgh disgusting forfeit. think marshmallows with chili and ketchup and cheese all mushed together. thankfully i never got the chance to taste the mutant marshmallows so i cant tell you how delightful they tasted.

cross fingers no one gets marshmallow poisoned!

other than our very creative forfeit food, there was a hell lot of food. stuffed my face with fat-soaked chocolates and chips and cake. oh and pizza. lots of pizza. oh my fats.

just one photo tonight. cause i was having trouble finding a glam-enough or not-too-hideously-unglam photo to post.

and no matter what.

champagne kisses on christmas

2009-12-25T23:22:00.007+08:00

really is a silent night.

happy christmas and a merry new year.

this christmas wasnt like the ones i used to have. as a kid, we'd have christmas day all over at my grandma's and we'll play games and rip open presents. of course, after living for more than a decade (sheesh im old), christmas has calmed and has become more of a sweet day spent with my family.

with lots and lots of food.

first,

the necklace in the photo was a gift.

thanks again joan's mum!

closeup charms.

so christmas christmas today and we well ate. alot.

i ate so much i could feel my stomach expand with every bite and chew. and then all the food just made me really really sleepy and i fell asleep as soon as we got back into the car.

i think 2 hours straight of eating non-stop is a better sleeping pill than anything out there.

foood.

food.

& more food.

then in the evening, went over to joan's to have some last minute christmas fun.

and to our absolute horror, we found some err rather explicit stickers.

yeah, stickers. you know the kind we used to chummy over as kids. apparently, they arent so innocent after all. in the midst of their cute exterior and sparkly finish, their artists have very quietly crept in details that would later on in the lives of little kids, create irreversible consequences.

okay i kind of dont think when i type and i tend to run on my sentences. haha this happens when im sleepy so just keep reading.

anyway, mature content below. please avert your eyes if you feel the need to preserve the innocence of stickers in your mind.

this, had me straining my eyes.

its a girl. i swear its a girl.

and this, well this is just err odd.

hello kitty pointing her very short middle finger?

haha well christmas is always full of surprises.

goodnight world & go shimmy down a chimmney tonight.

a dance to remember

2009-12-21T00:12:00.002+08:00

and dance;

anyhow art 2009

amazing times 9864351746926254723825926178454329.

saw some unexpected people there. surprising, heartwarming and a bit um embarrassing haha since our costume seems to be lacking alot of cloth around the mid drift area.

i would upload the video of our performance yesterday night but its way too large. so, onto facebook the video goes. (& soon, i promise.)

the makeup was amazing.

on our faces

and on our hands.

credits to shu zhen for designing the face makeup. i drew the hand ones. haha and i can hear the 'oh, no wonder' going through your mind now. hey, art is hard to interpret man. i tried my best.

ling and me trying obviously unsuccessfully to act sexy after makeup-ing.

and while waiting for the performance to start, we spent our time taking photos. many many photos. 263 to be exact. haha actually, we took photos whenever we had the chance.

but then came dinner.

oh the horror.

haha think exposed bloated belly in front of a million people taking videos of our performance. thus the pouts and sad faces and mourning for the non-existent flat stomachs began. and it kind of lasted for the rest for the whole two days of the performance. but today, muaha, we're all happy little kids munching our way into sinful snacks with no fear that anyone will stare at our bulging stomachs. err. okay, not so much. but still.

then after putting on our blood red lipstick, we danced.

and danced our heart out.

6 minutes and 57 seconds. the longest dance i have ever danced. adrenaline rush, whoo. and i'd do it all over again.

pictures below. (the rest will be on facebook once facebook decides to revive.)

lao shi!

like the world is watching.

2009-12-14T22:32:00.005+08:00

littlest joys

megawatts.

updates.

this weekend was tiring and today was as well. but these days have been fun nonetheless.

so anyway.

i think its funny how we wake up. im a total night junkie and a morning nightmare. so i usually wake up dazed and utterly utterly confused. i never get up on the right side of the bed. either side i wake up, i might roll and fall off the bed and just go right back to sleep.

the other day i had to wake up early. and i had a very uh amusing conversation.

mum: wake up! turn off the air con.

me: (mumbles incoherently) what air con? there's no air con in my
room.

mum: what?

me: huh?

mum: just turn on the lights.

me: (still mumbling incoherently) what lights? there's no lights in my
room.

now, there are both lights and an air con in my room. goes to show i have either a malfuntioning brain or a highly imaginative mind that can morph things.

hmmm.

snapshots from dance practice this weekend.

"drop dead gorgeous smile of yours"

2009-12-10T20:19:00.004+08:00

i'll wait forever and a day for you

we used to laugh out loud

amanda was supposed to have fun in the sun today with wind in her hair.

instead, amanda ate like a pig and had fun in the err hairsalon. (?)

haha okay so today i had absolutely nothing to do. so i went to meet mum at the hairsalon where she was having her hair done.

unlike happy mum, i hate cutting my hair.

so i settled for reading and playing with my ipod. i was so bored i even started reading lao fu zi the comic. oh childhood memories haha. hairsalon's seem to have a never ending supply of them along with age-old magazines. then i started stoning.

that is until the hairdresser/mum's friend decided he was bored too and started to play with my hair.

yes, play. with my hair.

the next fifteen mintues was spent with them trying to tame my medusa hair. think i became their life-sized doll today. but plastic doesnt suit me.

anyway,

i ended up with curls.

lots of lots of curls. haha well, at least they had fun.

tomorrow will be a good day. got to charge my camera's battery and got to stop eating so i can still dance.

and oh, imy.

2009-12-08T22:40:00.010+08:00

everybody's in love?

all the single ladies what?

i love my dog.

haha i think she's the most adorable thing in my world. especially when she licks her nose after i kiss it. every time.

that aside, today was a blast.

started the day reading and then,

chocolate chocolate chocolate.

met ling and caught the movie 'couple's retreat' cause i was too freaked to watch 'case 39'. haha im the type of person who after laughing my ass off after watching 'scary movie' will start to wonder if someone will crawl out my tv the moment i turn around.

anyway the movie wasnt wonderful wonderful. pretty average and i pretty much froze to death in that puny cinema with insane air-conditioning.

lunch at moss burger.

fast food outlets are filled with queer people, really. gay-acting dudes chummy over their ipod, emo chio bu and a cute auntie (in the picture) who smiled at our camwhoring.

well, hmmm.

then we came here.

about 11(?) stories off the ground, the elevator ride up is definitely not for the faint-hearted. it's an amazing place, so guess where.

so below are some snapshots of today, enjoy.

sculpture's butt?

the wind was insane. haha we couldnt be bothered much after a while so our hair turned out something like this.

amazing day with amazing friend.

anyway, the rest are uploaded on facebook since my com is starting to whine and die on me.

it's late and i shall go lie on my bed and wait for my dreams to come.

so we'll live, love, laugh.

2009-12-06T22:24:00.002+08:00

i found what you werent looking for

dont let me go.

is it just me?

or is it simply annoying as hell to be stuck between two people who wont stop talking to each other and who both refuse to swap places.

whatever it is, sheesh it bugs me.

especially when im trying to read. and today i read through the day. i read so much the words started to blur abit(and i fell asleep for a while. naps are amazing i tell you.) and im down to the last chapter of this very amazing book.

then i came across this word i've never seen before and i reached for my ipod to check it in the dictionary when i realised i had read flatiron as flaty-ron.

haha and i quote my friend,

"you're crazy, i think."

im starting to think, maybe she's right.

2009-12-04T22:41:00.004+08:00

you cant go out to play

chummy, sweetnothing moments.

oh glorious freedom.

but sometimes, in these wonderfully delicious days where kids like us have absolutely no commitments to anything whatsoever and have all the time in the world to do whatever our very relaxed mind can think of next, there comes a time when the boredom starts to haunt us.

haha okay ignore the dramatism.

its getting to me and my words and screwing with my head so that everything i say now is intertwined and soaked in lameness(such a word?).

okay its not really that bad. just today was a little boring. other days i have tons of ways to spend my endless hours. so today, after running and sweating my sweat glands out, i decided to go out for lunch.

with mum.

japanese food and shopping.

haha, mum's the best. (im just saying. shopping is alot more fun when you dont have to keep counting the number of notes left in your wallet until you realise you have more receipts than cash.)

photos by the way werent taken today(wedding dinner photos). i missed my camera today while i was out and it was resting peacefully at home getting the ions in its battery fully charged again.

and my camera missed out on the fun i had at iluma the other day.

we ended up using and almost losing phones that day while taking photos.

but life's all good.

2009-12-03T23:20:00.004+08:00

;labyrinthine

the secret's broken and mine

hello world.

amanda is back on blogging. on cue now, shocked faces everyone by the time you read this line.

haha and dare i ask if anyone missed me blogging?

being the first post since god knows when, words may start to reproduce rapidly until a wordy post is born. but i promise photos the next time around. so school's been out for a while now but i didnt blog cause i was all too busy trying to sleep back the hours i missed out on this year. so its impossible to pay off my sleeping debt, but hey, its a convenient enough excuse to sleep a little longer and not be called a pig.

these days have been pretty much odd. a bit of dancing and running and the little whatnots of everyday life.

and where everyday life is concerned, meet my baby.

i'd change my facebook status to married to my camera.

oh my lovely camera, how i love you so. and i'll always love you my pretty much screwed up previous camera that have stayed strong through my accidental drops and electroniacally painful falls you had to endure in the short short life of yours.

well anyway,

ever since the never-will-be-mentioned-exam, days flew by like err, like how days fly by? you know what i mean. it's december already and i miss november and i sort of miss school(even if its the littlest bit of me missing the littlest things in school).

so in my vocabulary, november's definition is movie, wedding dinner, facebook, movie, tv, wedding dinner, shopping, prom, movie, facebook, movie, dance & running.

but they say live in the moment right? well they is questionable but someone said it anyway. so i'll rant about the present; more specifically, today.

today, i ran into a couple of friends i havent seen in a while who're still gorgeous as ever. and i got the feeling you get when you realise how much you can miss someone.

today, i danced. in the morning and in the afternoon and in the rain. (drizzle actually but rain sounds more cool haha.)

today, i smiled and laughed till my cheeks hurt.

and today, i blogged after not blogging for a very long time and can add 'blogging' to my list of 'amanda really misses these'.

2009-02-21T23:28:00.002+09:00

vintage kisses

her masked heartbreak

half an hour to midnight.

i've been stoning for the past ten minutes. i considered smsing, but then i was afraid i'd wake people in their beauty sleep. i tried homework, but im really exhausted today. i even fell asleep, then i realised i didnt feel like sleeping.

and ive been pouting for the longest time before i even realised that i was.

haha so amanda is a tired, whiny, emotional wreck all rolled up into one and she doesnt know what to do.

well, lets hope next week goes better.

belated valentine's, starring roxy, my beloved sheltie.

as bled, the glorious

2009-02-13T23:50:00.001+09:00

masquerade, and tomorrow's love story

sugar soaked

crezawards 2009 was awesome.

friday the 13th wasnt so bad after all. so we screamed til our throat hurt and laughed and camwhored to the max. today was a blast.

make time stop, so we can do it all over again.

mr lee and the vertically challenged kids

taufik batisah came

so did west grand bolevard and this really good danc group.

haha this was funny, lixin became the light.

this, is classic. we were all like "juuuuuuump!"

spells it all, doesnt it?

so tomorrow, back at the crossroads?

haha nope, dateless alright.

2009-02-08T00:34:00.001+09:00

oh sugar.

insanity 101

oh no, its been 20 days since i've blogged.

because time is such a bitch, it hates me to the core and i feel like i want to kick myself everytime i fall asleep on my work.

no time no time no time.

today was a total waste of time.
procrastination isnt doing any good
and amanda should be mugging mugging mugging.

i should chant this every morning and every night until it actually gets into my head.

photos, 23rd january.

birthday kid. had her birthday lunch at sakae. made us fatty haha.

"siao hahaha."

then we went over to jean's house(the labortory) to meet dexter(the genious)

yes, this is dexter.

group photos below.

schedule for the days to come:

mug.

eat. sleep.

mug in dreams.

wakeup. eat. sleep.

mug until i fall asleep.

sounds exciting, no? sheesh i feel like ramming my head against the wall.

2009-01-19T21:56:00.006+09:00

trapped inside herself

for all the times

photos from barbeque on saturday.

mug. mug. mug.

2009-01-09T23:59:00.004+09:00

more than that, more than you.

school, o levels, school, o levels.

sheesh, its like a chant i hear when i wake up, when i go to sleep and every minute that comes in between.

school, o levels, school, o levels, school, o levels.

argh.

anyway, i hope this explains my not blogging for a week. because school is being a complete bitch, with homework and studying for comfort, i hardly have time to sleep, much less update and bore you with my pathetic school life.

but thank God its friday. i dont think i've been more relieved that the weekends are here. as much as that means extreme mugging and another unsuccessful attempt to finish all my overdue homework, im just thankful for the break from everything.

for one, i get to blog. and the most wonderful thing of all, i get to stone. although i still dont get enough sleep. but i'll live with what i have.

anyway,

today was campfire for secondary one orientation.

dance, danced.

regina!

aloycia and regina. i think this is really cute.

shu zhen and i

peeps came over. whee.

haha ms sim

ling ling and sharon

aloycia and amelia.

over. over over over you.

2009-01-01T22:31:00.002+09:00

;save tonight

hold me?

i mean seriously. literally. whatever.

freaking hold me down.

oh my gosh,

i want to scream til everyone wakes up and i wanna throw tantrums all through the night and in the morning on the bus i want to glare very very viciously at everyone(so that they'll think im a vampire and that i want to kill them all muaha) and then when i get to school i want to shout out to the whole school and announce that "i wanna go home!!! i wanna go home i wanna go home i wanna go home! i. want. to. freaking. go. home!!"

now,

please excuse the above.

i feel much, much better.

oh tomorrow will be such a wonderful day, the sky will be blue and the birds will be singing and i'll be a happy little kid bouncing my way off to school.

oh im gonna puke already.

well, now that all that's off my chest, there's actually still a little(and by little i mean freakishly puny, its non-existent) bit of excitement that comes along with the first day of school. except this time around, im looking forward to what comes after the first day of school which is the oh gosh freedom! of the weekend. thank God its friday. for tomorrow, but yeah.

oh man i could just drop dead and die. and if i dont, i'll try to drop dead a million more times until i actually succeed.

im starting to think,

haha i have issues.

2009-01-01T00:01:00.000+09:00

forget sweet nothings, i want my prince

this year's got the best of my insanity.

happy new year.

2008-12-27T23:09:00.006+09:00

go kiss a toad this christmas, the prince is yours.

charming mini me, no?

christmas christmas.

and all i want for it.. nah, shh, you dont need to know. well this year's didnt feel much like christmas. and i didnt even feel like going christmas shopping this time around. shocking, i know.

but for all time's sake,

merry christmas.

anyway,

homework makes me go crazy.

it makes me want to rip the papers into pieces and scream muahaha at the shredded bits. and then i just give up and plop my head on the table and stone.

and then i either start doodling or i come here to blog. or i do both. which is what ive done today after my unproductive, unsuccessful attempt to finish my holiday homework. and to think before school closed, i made myself promise i'd finish my homework before november ends. and now december has come and gone and ta-da, school reopens in like what 5 days?

i'll go buy my own tombstone now.

so this is my doodle of the day.

belated photos with my

crazy crazy, very crazy dog

sharon came over the other day to get some homework done. it didnt go that bad, and we actually managed to finish a little until we just gave up and slacked.

well,

i should get back to my urgh homework now.

mourn for me.

2008-12-22T00:06:00.009+09:00

this lifetime or this minute

family portrait.

teenagers vs adults.

a teenager is like an alien from another planet.

people give you a look like we're some extra terrestrial species like they cant understand you no matter how hard they try. and the look they give you is just plain creepy. they think your world is insanely weird and cannot comprehand your way of thinking(which in other words means they just cannot stand your impulsiveness).

and i think its hilarious how we can be the same species when obviously adults and us are what lightyears apart and disturbingly different.

and needless to say, getting along is like going through world war 3. save the fact that the only casualty in this war, seems to be always the kid.

so today, well today just didnt go so well.

dont get me wrong

amanda is a happy kid looking forward to tomorrow. and looking forward to falling asleep once im done with this post.

more photos from taiwan trip.

and the convenient comment my brother gave was "oh my gosh medusa"

hmmm haha i cant remember where this is

and we had fun in the playground in the cold.

even my mum had fun haha

starting to miss the winter over there.

so i figured,

something must have gone wrong along the way when i was growing up. like maybe the world started spinning the other way around.

but i might as well get used to it.

2008-12-20T23:14:00.006+09:00

loved you lately

the most awesome time of the day:

is when i get back home, alone in my room and blast music through my speakers, drown out my thoughts and just completely and utterly stone.

that, haha, is my meditation.

well, that aside, today was odd.

tiring, fun, tiring, fun and really really odd with alot of stares on the way home.

cause we went home carrying bamboo poles in our hands and two more in our bags.

and we even went to watch twilight with the poles. in case you were wondering, the poles are for dance.

and in the span of about the 4 hours we were in tiong bahru plaza carrying the poles around, we were asked twice if we were pole dancers. haha well at least the two people who asked were both really nice aunties.

anyway,

"you're my own personal brand of heroin"

then i felt my heart melt like completely.

its always easier to believe in fiction. like if my life was a nightmare i'd probably rejoice cause i know sometime or another everything would be just the way it was and i'd wake up from it.

and its always easier to believe in something you want to believe in. so here, take your pick: choose what you want to believe in.

well, i ___(fill in the blank)___ you.

2008-12-19T23:34:00.002+09:00

endlessly, blindly

shadows fall across the sky.

i am an emotional nutcase.

miss PMS is in an extremely bad mood today.

i have my emotions all mixed up. when did anger become disappointment? and how come i couldnt figure out that hope would turn out to be ignorance?

life's unfair blah blah blah. well that sucks.

give me a break.

its like the world i know is spinning out of control.

i cant hold on when there's nothing to hold on to.

2008-12-17T23:56:00.006+09:00

kill me, would you?

my shadow's prettier than i am

haha looks like i already have a fan of my obesity.

dont worry, i used to be a hell of alot chubbier. but hey, everyone just adores chubby kids to bits, no? and they say, bigger is better right? haha ah oh well, not like i mind.

anyway,

today is one of those days i wish someone would shoot me.

i have a splitting headache from staring at my homework for over the last half hour thinking of a decent storyline to write my english essay on. and so far, my essay consisits of one word: the freaking title.

and then homework aside, i feel like pulling all my hair out, banging my head against the wall and crying till all of the water in my body floods my bedroom.

welcome to my world. okay fine, this is cliche crap. its more like, amanda is just plain insane.

heartaches arent heart attacks. its the feeling you get when you miss something so badly but you cant get it back. heartaches wont kill you. but sometimes i wish they do.

i miss being a kid.

dont you?

2008-12-16T00:33:00.016+09:00

high heeled, lace lined

a little like prom

should you spot any spelling errors in the following, please kindly ignore them since sheesh my keyboard's all screwed up.

freaking keyboard makes me sound like i cant spell.

anyway,

wedding wedding.

congragulations ms ng. haha too bad now we cant call you ms ng anymore.

the really pretty ms ng her really really tall groom

the flower girl was so freaking adorable

and all smiles

camwhored like crazy that day.

over a hundred photos. haha so girls are camwhorers by nature, live with it.

regina acting all shu nu

jou teng, sharon and i

we decided to have icecream before the the wedding. sinful pleasures whoo.

the lifts at the church had really big pretty mirrors. haha yeah for camwhoring.

ling ling!

nicole, aloycia and karen.

jou teng, regina, glenda, geraldine(shocking hahaha) and xiu xian

karen and joan

i think we camwhore too much in toilets haha.

kai ling. haha poor sec one kid who was all alone.

shu zhen & i

even in heels, im still shorter than those two.

zi-highing in the corner haha.

far far away. but still very very pretty.

haha we risked getting run down by cars to take this picture.

group photos below.

sec 3 dancers 2008

most of us anyway.

and for the record,

(this one's for you iman & alex) god i have wonderful friends.

2008-12-14T00:07:00.004+09:00

12:o5 in the morning

i am barely awake typing this.

just because i feel nice, here are the photos from dance class.

sorry its blur, stupid camera was shaking.

xiu xian, jou teng, shu zhen, amanda.

haha xiu xian!

baby freeze. (my failure one at least)

calvin doing his pro baby freeze

dancing in chucks.

now shhh,

amanda's busy trying to get to sleep.

2008-12-10T00:17:00.004+09:00

sweet sedation, your laughter

white winter holiday

well today was:

unproductive. pathetic. and painfully boring.

i woke up in a really bad mood and homeworking was more like napping, stoning and watching tv.

on the bright side, yesterday was a hell of alot more fun. and im looking forward to tomorrow and tomorrow's tomorrow.

anyway, before dance class photos(haha sorry guys, soon soon), some of my taiwan trip photos. will upload more soon. or when i feel like it. depends on which one hits me first. that first picture was taken up in the mountains. it wasnt snowing that day, but the snow was from the night before. it was, *gasps and faints dramatically blah blah, breathtaking.

i didnt mean to lean so far off to the side. haha but long story. anyway.

101.

with my mum on some couple's bridge haha.

and i really dont know where this is.

nor this. but this is cool.

family photo.

2008-12-07T23:28:00.003+09:00

do you remember me?

damsel in distress, my ass.

i never thought i'd get homesick.

its funny, but its awesome to be back home.

because the amount of photos taken by yours truly over in taiwan is counted by the hundreds, the photos will have to wait. and duh i wont upload all, but a few shots where haha i look not hideous. (i said few. ah well, dont expect too much.)

anyway, i am currently a wreck.

do not come close, this time, i will bite.

2008-11-28T01:02:00.002+09:00

i lost my angel.

this time tomorrow, i wont be here.

technically, it is already tomorrow, cause i thought it was still thursday. okay fine, so twelve hours from now, i'll be gone.

yeah im running away. my luggage's all packed and i've got my travel plans and documents right. i cant take everything thats going on right now. its driving me crazy. so im running away.

nah.

kidding. as if im running away. i'd probably need someone to sponsor me. haha who'd sponsor me? anyone?

but i am going overseas. so i wont be blogging for a week. continue to tag(please?) and stare at the photos and miss me(haha okay im not betting on the missing me part).

behind it all, you dont know me.

i would have joined photography if i wasnt so horrible at it. so heck i wanted to push my luck; picture above was meant for submission for a photography competition but in the end i forgot about it.

anyway,

do you bother to think of me every once in a while?

2008-11-26T23:23:00.001+09:00

shut up & dance

dance class the other day was really fun.

sweat.. okay no, perspired like crazy. but then i forgot to bring extra clothes to change into or even a pack of tissues to wipe of the sweat. laughed alot over nonsensical things. girls mah, haha.

danced off the sushi i had with regina that day. and ended up really hungry when i got home.

hip hop and lyrical dance routines for two hours. enjoyed, really. and the choreography was really cool.

looking forward looking forward to the next lesson.

i think i look odd here. was sweaty and disgusting.

haha sorry xiu xian, whose face got cut off.

dance dance dance dance.

i cant wait.

2008-11-25T20:44:00.005+09:00

bottled smiles & spilled sunshine

cause you're always at the door when i come home.

the other day when i was crying, she came up to me and started licking my face like crazy. i dont know if my tears tasted disgustingly nice or if she was trying to console me.

but

i love her all the same.

she probably thinks she's my boyfriend.

haha jealous yet?

2008-11-23T22:33:00.012+09:00

the stage, my dear, is yours

musical evening 2008

yesterday was perfect. well almost.

gorgeous gorgeous, to die for(or dance for haha) bouquet roses from vera and wanyi.

thanks dears, really.

funny how i've been on stage countless of times but still get stage fright whenever i see those faces in the audience staring me down. i can blink right at them and be surprised i havent yet fainted in front of everyone. thank god at least i didnt faint from fright last night.

i dont get butterflies in my stomach, its more like a hurricane churning in there.

after the whole concert was over we practically screamed till our eardrums hurt. well okay, we didnt scream, we shrieked. cheered and shrieked even more and than photo taking was just really weird. celebrity, haha.

photos photos. where i look like an auntie heading down to the market with a receding hairline oh gosh.

eyeliner-ing

haha this is ms sim.

the cheena couple

doing poses in front of the urinals HAHA

i am honestly rendered speechless by this. haha.

this was how my hair turned out after un-bun-ing it.

now that the photos are up,

yours truly is going to catch up on her stoning and subsequently her beauty sleep.

its okay, really.

2008-11-21T22:09:00.003+09:00

got lost in hope.

"you're not here. but its okay."

i could count a hundred other things i'd rather be doing right now than sitting in front of my computer screen falling asleep while stoning.

so live with another of my so-short-its-nonexistant-post.

but anyway,

meet my sunshine kid.

this is my niece

and i love her to bits.

sheesh, and i look like a lion in the photo.

2008-11-20T00:04:00.001+09:00

if you could see me now

sweet sedation, this ignorance.

"daddy's little girl". i dont believe in it.

fucked up world we're living in. because it should have been "daddy never knew his little girl".

i could scream until the people around me stop hearing and start listening. but im not a little girl anymore. so no more throwing tantrums, no more crying.

im left to wonder when you'll start listening. you're left to wonder when i grew up while you werent listening.

2008-11-16T21:24:00.004+09:00

lost & found promises

captured megawatts.

little black dress.

haha i never imagined myself saying this, but now i have my own little black dress.

i could jump off a building and attempt to fly. happiness is contagious. and shopping shopping oh gosh shopping is always a good reason to spread the happiness, the smiles blah bla blah.

of course, with every dose of a drug like this, stupidity comes naturally as its side effect.

today during breakfast i was walking back to the table when i kicked the wall. yes this huge huge painted wall made of concrete that could never move, was so big and which was standing there the whole time right in front of me. and i kicked it.

and now my toe really really hurts. no not in the "bimbo ouch it hurts" kind of way, but the oh-my-god-i-think-my-toenail-is-going-to-drop-off way.

so yeah, mourn for my little toe.

anyway.

while i wallow in self pity, more pictures from swimming(more like failure tanning. haha.) over at jollin's place.

i could do the photoshoots for elle and lixin can be my model. haha.

so i found the promises we made years ago.

friends, just like you said, always.

2008-11-16T00:33:00.009+09:00

so we're the definition of insanity

and just the way we like it.

"its like we all live in a world of our own but we all seem to somehow click"

class chalet class chalet.

things turned out really awesome. had a hell of a time and we all went a little crazy. little, haha, of course we went a little crazy. camwhored til my camera battery went flat, laughed so hard and ate too much. one year down, one more to go. and definitely, the best class ever.

and guess who

our wonderful wonderful form teacher mr poon came to join the crazy club.

because i am such the lazy ass, im too lazy to elaborate on what we did. so live with it and enjoy the pictures.

unglam, unprepared.

haha and she makes me look fatter than i already am!

the house bunny HAHA. iman's, not mine.

its red cause i accidentally covered the flash with my finger. but its too nice a shot to leave out.

oh my god i resemble a bubble.

haha failure shot. but jieying looks damn cute!

jean looks like she could burst from happiness

jieying, with her new hairdo she's very proud of, and i

zakiah! hey partner, stop doodling all over your notes.

hey it tasted good alright.

and they decided to dance in the rain.

so anyway, this is what i meant when i said we went a little crazy.

so the four of us got really bored. jean, amanda, amanda, and yuinyi.

so we decided to..

ah you really have to see it to comprehand the rate of unglamness we can achieve. so here you go. brace yourselves.

haha jean's hair can be massive!

unglamness to the core.

but heck, we had fun and we couldnt stop laughing after that.

so join the club.

2008-11-11T22:02:00.005+09:00

so where does that leave us?

shadowed heartbreak.

i fell asleep three times today.

the first time was on the bus back home. the second one too.

i fell asleep reading my book and then woke up about 15 minutes later. then i was too sleepy to continue reading so i slept for another 15 minutes. damn shiok. haha.

then i woke up 10 mintues away from home and stoned for the rest of the journey.

and then when i reached home and plopped myself onto the bed, i fell asleep for the third time today.

it feels really great to catch up on my beauty sleep, especially since all three were afternoon naps. and because its the holidays, i stay up late even though i have absolutely nothing to do. i stay up late just because i feel like it. i stone in front of my computer and end up reading or playing some random game til i fall asleep.

and then i wake up early in the morning to get to school for dance practices. and the stupid morning rush hour gets on my nerves every single day. but thats the routine for now.

and i predict that the fourth time i fall asleep will happen before i finish typing this post.

monkeys haha.

haha i didnt know my camera was zoomed in.

oh hey, my prediction came true.

goodnight world.

2008-11-10T23:19:00.003+09:00

amanda is (fill in the blank).

got me hanging by a moment.

these days i catch myself daydreaming, stoning, whatever you want to call it.

and i suddeny really miss random people that poofs into my head.

"good old days, haha."

so anyway,

dance self practice. camwhored a little. stoned a whole lot more. and froze to death, all in that 3 hours we spent in school today.

okay so i couldnt reach my leg.

considering how old im getting, haha you cant really blame me.

and this is letty.

the really good chinese dancer who makes my lousy photography look awesome.

and haha very wen rou.(translation, graceful)

well, we try to be.

2008-11-09T23:45:00.003+09:00

smile, tight & speechless

but it never got down to black and white.

we've been learning how to talk since we were born.

then how come, now, after fifteen years, i cant seem to find the right words to say?

2008-11-08T23:04:00.005+09:00

for all it's worth

the crazy i smile for.

question: who would you turn to if you needed a shoulder to cry on?
answer: this time i will not cry.

dissapointment can be spelt in three letters; y, o and u.

so i dont know why i try so hard to be the perfect that you want me to be when you spell dissapointment in exactly the same way, expect every single time, the 'you' turns out to be me.

it drives me crazy sometimes, dont you know? but it doesnt really matter. it doesnt make much of a difference.

after all, you never wanted to know.

sheesh i am in a bad bad mood. come close enough and i will not hesitate to bite. i feel like i could scream my lungs out until people across the street can hear me. i want to cry and laugh all at once and watch me wreck myself apart.

but all i want to do right now, is to go to sleep.

2008-11-07T22:20:00.004+09:00

makeshift magic

today was awesome.

went out with amanda(tan) and lixin and had a hell of a time. and found out today that having buffet lunch equals to fat, fat times fat.

now the weighing machine is my worst nightmare. i feel like im stuffing myself so that someone someday will eat me up when i become fat enough to feed an entire nation of hungry people.

haha ah oh well, doesnt feel too long away. i can currently feel myself expanding. soon enough i wont fit in any of my clothes and i'll be too huge for my queen sized bed. i need to get back down to running off those kilos.

despite all this, the holidays have been alot less toturing than i thought it'd be.

actually, it's been great.

sushi buffet!

and then we went window shopping.

the omg-i-need-to-lose-weight amanda and the i-plan-to-stop-growing amanda

love this shot.

this made me smile. and it tastes just as good as it looks.

excitement haha.

classic unglam amanda.

and the glam, glamour, glamourous one

and we are such vain poks haha.

2008-11-05T23:28:00.006+09:00

hello honesty.

so you told me you'd paint portraits of forever.

joke of the week:

aysh: im hungry!

jean: eat yourself lah!

aysh: so fattening! dont want!

right, anyway, i could kick myself for falling for you & your nonsense.

funny facade we all have going on, dont you think?

i. am. going.

insane.

hello my name's amanda. and yours? oh that's right, it's honesty. hello honesty, i've missed you. where've you been all my life? care to come back home now?

and meet my new found friend, insanity.

2008-11-03T23:34:00.005+09:00

this is not how we wanted to be

this is more than that.

formula to gaining weight:
add sleep to school then multiply by food.

so much for the holidays really. when we wake up every morning to drag our lazy asses off the bed and back to school to sit through lesson after lesson.

on the bright side, hell yeah it'll be over in two days.

but all school and no play makes.. well okay no, play has definitely occured throughout the period of our lessons. you dont really expect us to pay attention from 8 in the morning to 3 in the afternoon.

so school, school and school has made amanda such a lazy ass that after lessons everyday all i want to do is sleep. and since i have absolutely no motivation to stop being a potato coach(indulging in heroes season 2 and 3) and go running, oh man,

i am going to chuck the weighing machine far far away so that i dont have to scare myself half to death by the possibility of a three digit number showing on the scale.

ao anyway,

went down to play pool yesterday with my brother.

didnt really have time so we only managed two games. and whoo i won one out of the two games with my brother.

and he claims it wasnt his day and all my shots were "lucky shots" haha. ah well, whatever he says, i still won the first time around.

you have to admit, this is a cool shot.

omg unglam. haha i know, im short. this is the aftermath of failing to grow taller. but you cant blame me for not being as long as the pool table.

mum and dad.

after the games, when i stepped out of the washroom the first thing i saw was

HAHA priceless.

my dad tried to put on my jacket. well, tried. haha you should have seen the face of this old uncle who walked passed when he saw my dad.

and i was honestly afraid, after i finished laughing at the sight, that my jacket would tear.

but it survived haha, unharmed. thankfully.

2008-10-30T00:10:00.002+09:00

desiderate; to long for

drop dead adorable.

remember when you used to be a kid? (that is of course if you are a kid who is currently reading my blog)

of course, we still are. we're just a little bigger and wont fit into any more playpens.

"i wanna be a kid again"

just cause we'd be able to run around screaming. and cause even when we run around screaming and decide to ram ourselves into a wall, we didnt care if anyone around us thought we were insane.

all i wanted was to have fun, just because i could.

so anyway. my point is. i remember doing the most utterly embarrassing and the stupidest things as a kid. and of course everyone around me remembered how amazingly round i could expand into. gloria, haha.(inside joke)

and i remember thinking to myself, 'a few years from now, i'll laugh over my nonsense as a kid.'

funny how we're already looking back thinking how dumb (or you could call it cute) we used to be.

which in other words, oh my god, im old.

2008-10-25T21:32:00.003+08:00

honeyed, forgotten & sweet-sugared

"you and your charms", quote wanyi.

haha flattering. until i get home and i hear my mum tell me "eh you havent been sleeping right, look at your eyebags!"

damn eyebags. those huge huge bags oh gosh. but whatever. ignore the bimbo talk.

before any of my wonderful friends get the chance to even think the thought, no my dears, i am not bimbo. i have brains okay! as little and small my brain may be, its still there. which makes me unqualified to be a bimbo. so there, unbimbotised amanda.

anyway, i do sleep.

this morning i woke up from shock. funny really, i woke up in the middle of my dream cause i was so shocked of what i was doing in my dream. (no, i can hear what you're thinking, stop thinking scandalous!)

but im leaving out the details. i woke up with my jaw dropping and my eyes popping out of my sockets with my hair in a complete mess. so if you still cant picture it, this, was how i looked when i woke up this morning.

the utter shock, and as you can imagine,

all the unglamness in the world to go along with it.

so its bye bye charm, hello unglam auntie.

2008-10-23T22:12:00.003+08:00

hello you, i miss you.

shut up and reminise.

oh school's over.

it's been three years(gosh i feel old), and i still remember our good old noob days where we walked around school lugging our tablets with a receeding hairline and no fringe, shirt tucked all the way in and skirts which met our socks so that no one could see any sign of existance of our legs.

so now that school's out, there's the lessons from morning to afternoon every day til 5th november and the insane amount of homework(as always). the only thing really, that im looking forward to is dance and of course the countless movie dates.

sure i'll miss school. see, cause all we ever do is things like these.

ah forget it.

we'll get our asses back down to mugging despite our utter willingness to do so. so we might as well make it the most enjoyable mugging can ever possibly get.

library session anyone?

2008-10-22T23:00:00.003+08:00

& you're that sugar rush.

for all that sunshine and your smile.

im so exhausted i dont feel like sleeping anymore.

not like it'd fucking make a difference. perfect, amanda feels like pulling her hair out. i could slap myself soon. man.

"deep & meaningless"

i've got my world spinning round my head. so instead of watching my life go round and round, i might as well forget it and enjoy the ride.

'forget it', haha easier said than done, no? funny how everyone takes it so easily. so im joining the club. care to join? its a hell of a lot better than moping around all day feeling sorry for yourself. im smiling to myself just cause i feel like it and i dont really care if anyone thinks i've gone bonkers.

kid, i still wonder if you bother once in a while to read this.

2008-10-21T21:38:00.004+08:00

problematic kid.

teenage angst my ass.

the art of nagging.

now to understand this special art, we must first understand the definition of diffusion.

diffusion is the movement of particles from a region of higher concentration to a region of lower concentration.

so now, the art of nagging, is the act of increasing the amount of verbal
instructions being repeated over and over again until the concentration of words in the surrounding area increases beyond that of the concentration in your brain cells. these instructions will then diffuse into the braincells due to the prescence of a diffusion gradient.

the steeper this concentration gradient, or in other words the higher the difference in concentration, the faster the rate of diffusion. we can therefore conclude that as nagging or the rate of nagging increases, the faster and more efficiently the message gets into one's head.

this theory is purely fictional.

clearly this theory has been proven wrong after the countless nagging sessions teenagers have undergone in their 15 years of life with zero things entering, much less remaining, in the heads of the teenagers.

so now i'll go find a wall to bang my head against.

2008-10-18T21:23:00.004+08:00

amandatastic

;get indulged.

when you're going out with more than one amanda, all you need to do to get all the amandas attentions is to go

"hey amandas!"

experimented & proven. haha.

anyway, as much as i know a thousand people out there has the same name as me, yeah i still love my name.

pictures today, lunch at ikea with amanda(tan) and jean.

amandas!

soft toy obsessions

"i wanna be a kid again!"

and all the laughter.

i feel broke. now i really wish money grew on trees. or better still, that everything was for free. oh shopping i miss you.

and from all the junk i've been indulging in,

i can practically feel myself expanding. sheesh. mugging really should be renamed as fatting. since all we ever do during exam periods is to sit our butts down for hours straight stuffing more junk food down our throats than knowlegde into our heads.

and now that there're no more mugging sessions, all i want to do is to stay up late till after midnight then wake up afternoons to catch some tv and hog the computer with junk food and sugar-filled drinks and sinful sinful desserts to add on to the daily dose of pure slacking.

am i tempting you yet?

2008-10-14T21:29:00.005+08:00

star-crossed loving.

& as our story goes.

right at the bottom of my to-do-list,

i wrote 'hope'. then i cancelled it out & wrote 'believe'. but i changed my mind and i tore up the whole sheet of paper.

cause i figured i didnt believe in magic.

when i was a hell of a lot younger,

i was insanely in love with watching magic shows. i really dont know why. i just thought that if the magician could dissapear, could fly, could do i dont know what illusions, then one day i proabably could & would do it too.

and then i learnt a magic trick on my own.

and when i realised there was really nothing magical about it all, that poof, what you see is not really what you get and that dude doing all that magic shit is really just pulling your leg,

i figured i wouldnt waste my time on believing in something that would really never occur.

just like now,

i wont waste my time on just another illusion.

2008-10-11T22:56:00.002+08:00

goodnight mornings

you know, you never get tired running through my head.

oh sheesh.

its been three days. okay correction, three mornings. since i've been waking up at 230am.

its becoming so routine.

go to sleep at around midnight, wake up two and a half hours later to stare at my alarm clock to curse and swear at the time, then go back to sleep and wake up 5 hours later then decide to sleep for another two more hours. and then when i finally drag my lazy butt off the bed, i stare at the mirror and spot two huge huge eyebags.

i think its cause of the serious lack of sleep from my mugging nights. i cant get used to the pure luxury of sleeping anything near 8 hours a day. okay 8 hours a night.

but ah oh well. im sleepy now, lets see what time i'll wake up tonight.

i hope tonight at least,

i'll wake up after i dream of you.

2008-10-09T22:30:00.005+08:00

eat munched & chomp.

secondary three dancers dinner date was a blast.

yes the kind that shoots out from the bottom of a rocket, it was omg fun. almost everyone was there, except our chair who is sick. get well ~~soon~~ now letty!

and im in love once again.

haha regina, sharon and jou teng got my this soft toy eeyore for my belated belated birthday gift for my birthday which was in august. i could have drooled all over it really, im in love with all my eeyore stuffed. thanks kiddos.

photos from today.

regina and i.

yup, thats eeyore, that huge thing im hugging.

love the background. and that bimbo kid as well haha.

i bet she loves me too, no amelia?

regina and ling ling.

nicole! love this shot.

shu zhen and mother lynn!

jocelyn, sharon and jou teng.

ignore my horrendous photography.

haha karen!

and the group photo. well almost a group photo.

and whoo,

tomorrow'll be another day out.

2008-10-08T21:09:00.007+08:00

now scream.

spot the difference.

its byebye braces, hello pearly whites.

and oh God mugging days are officially over. at least for now. until then,

scream f-r-e-e-d-o-m

come to think of it, i'll probably miss the mugging sessions at the library. come next year, and my tombstone will be in the cafe while i mug for O's. sounds exciting, no?

anyway, i havent been blogging for ages only cause i've been an absolutely good girl mugging for my FYE's which probably didnt make much of a difference to my already lousy results but, didnt you miss me?

haha sure you did.

marking days are here. think sleep, sleep, outings, eat, sleep, tv, blogging, sleep, sleep, outings, sleep and of course sleep. absolutely pure 100% bliss. except of course, there's the curfew on my parent's watch.

but late nights staying up and waking up afternoons here i come.

so pictures i owe.

in class madness,

yes my wonderful wailing caught on camera

and their classics,

"CHICKEN RICE CHICKEN RICE!"

haha jean

michelle and her markers. wait, i dont even think their hers!

"Ahhh!"

lixin and the os-mole-sis

this one, i love. only cause i took it heh.

happy classic natural shot.

"IM A NUN"

"IM A NEW AGE NUN!" haha! jean and her nonsense!

its the stress man.

secondary four farewell assembly.

this shot is omg cute.

haha no i really dont know what they're doing.

spastic.com

this is what happens when they off the light and i forget to turn on my flash.

my horrible photography. but spot the OMG-look!

i currently feel the need to stone for as long as i want right now,

haha just because i can.

2008-09-26T14:54:00.008+08:00

did you miss me while you were looking for yourself?

portrait/insanity.

question one, define stress.

answer,
OHMYGOSHOHMYFREAKINGGOSH OHMYSHITOHNOFREAKTHISOMGOMGOHMYGOSH.

question two, define school.

answer,
CLASSTESTSCOMMONTESTSCLASSTESTSMIDYEARS CLASSTESTCOMMONTESTSCLASSTESTSENDOFYEARS.

question three, calculate the number of days to end of end of years(including today).

answer, twelve, oh god twelve.

question four, hence, multiply the above three answers to find the present mood/emotion of amanda.

answer, URGH.

school's not one bit great.

the exams arent any better.

anyway, one random doodle on my amath worksheet when i got bored of doing my work in class the other day.

and its time to get back don to mugging my ass off.

2008-09-21T22:23:00.004+08:00

finally

anesthesia, painkillers and your sympathy.

haha funny.

you look at the picture up there then you look at the picture down here,

and you think,

oh my god what happened.

she used to be such an adorable little kid. all cute and chubby and i quote,

"so chubby we could roll around"

and now everthing's different.

(except the chubby part maybe. just look at how round my face is getting. i swear i look so round im probably morphing into a balloon being pumped with helium and floating up before i know it. yup, that round.)

everything's different,

including

being surrounded by the boys. HAHA.

2008-09-20T22:42:00.003+08:00

so why dont we?

blinds the world. then the show's over.

"breathe, slowly."

emotions times zero.

"it'll hurt a little,"

really all i wanna do right now is scream.

"just a little."

and then,

"its over."

i've got zero details for the above. i think at least some people would figure this out soon enough.

drama queen, haha i can just imagine my friends now. right, sure i am. today i lost my saturday. doing nothing really. at least i repaid my sleep debt which i accumulated over my sleepless (mugging, homework, stoning) nights.

i would have used the word awesome, but then i changed my mind.

sleep is just perfect.

its time to get back down to mugging. now, shall we?

2008-09-15T20:22:00.002+08:00

keep up this perfect facade for me, will you?

this is my emo drawing.

emo is way overrated. no, a kid's not emo just cause he or she writes a few emo lines here and there every once in a while.

today amanda's just fine. and still going high over singing songs out loud the whole day through.

one quote today to end my (so short its practically nonexsistent) post:

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he/she isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

2008-09-12T23:31:00.001+08:00

enter emo title here.

"just like you never exsisted"

oh right sure. i could handle this.

as simple as one, two, three. just like you told me. and then you're gone. now all i have to do is learn to stand on my own.

there you go. now you're forgotten. simple.

and the way we live in such perfect perfect irony. makes us crazy. makes us human as well dont you think?

2008-09-10T22:34:00.006+08:00

honestly?

haha sheesh im going crazy.

this is eeyore. my eeyore.

everyone bullies it. (just look at all their guilty faces!)

it has no smile on its adorable face. but it makes me smile just looking at it. its my new love.

given to me by this dearest dude up here. this is alex who laughs with me every day in school over nonsensical and extremely lame jokes.

both of them makes me smile til my face hurts.

they are my company when

when i start to pout and whine

they cheer me up and then

they make me so happy i start to bounce all over the place.

and then im no longer an emo kid.

2008-09-05T21:56:00.007+08:00

just look at what you're tearing apart.

tongue tied.

rewritten;

what if romeo and juliet was just another suicidal couple? would the world still be so obsessed with love stories that are so intricately intoxicated with insanity?

quit this melodramatic nonsense already.

in the mean time, i need a wall to run into.

got lost back down memory lane on my own.

2008-09-01T22:04:00.004+08:00

always; just like you told me.

and run away.

how could you? because you could.

i never thought things out this way before. still nothing kind of makes much sense. i just feel like im going round and round in circles that are never quite ending. oh well, every girl's entitled to a few secrets of her own. shh, the world, the universe, the you, dont need to know.

anyway,

the holidays are here.

wait, scratch that. holiday my ass. like we dont have to be in school every other day for lessons. perfect.

but at least its a break from all this crazy.

yesterday, well sunday, went to celebrate my elder brother's birthday.

met a familiar face and going to see his face again on wednesday for dance.(be honoured i mentioned you in my blog dude. haha.) and i let my sweet tooth indulge in sinful desserts. *drools.

uh huh im not the shortest in the family anymore.

just to end off,

these days there's really nothing to count down to. exams maybe, but it doesnt count. what bright light at the end of the tunnel, there's nothing really to look forward to.

so im taking life one day at a time.

give her time, she'll make it through.

2008-08-29T21:36:00.010+08:00

rewind, replay.

teachers day 2008 celebration was a little more fun than all the other teachers day celebrations in the three years i've been in crescent.

a few surprises here and there which made me a oh so happy kid once again. caught me a little off gaurd but it made my day.

and i practically glowed in my curie house shirt the whole morning through.

the performances was insanely hilarious. and sweet of course. absolutely shocking finale by the principle. but the school decided to be nice and sing along which should be a first.

and being the nice student i could possibly be, my teacher's day gift was to hand all my homework which was issued this week. well most of it anyway which i sacrificed my precious beauty sleep for!

& of course, happy teacher's day.

my mr alex. haha.

laughed for hours through the afternoon with the kiddos i havent seen in ages.

laughed over quite about everything. 20 years from now, we'd probably still be laughing over what we laughed about today.

and to think 3 years ago we were still so noob and crying over childish primary school matters.

funny how time flies.

oh twit shot. haha. yes we can count.

jocelyn is haha my model.

on a random note,

"it's okay i love you all the same."

2008-08-26T22:52:00.004+08:00

all alone but im just fine.

because i just couldnt bear to watch real flowers wilt.

oh. oh okay.

sometimes if you say something enough, you'll start believing it yourself.

"i am not afraid"

i guess its perfectly clear amanda's lost it. completely and utterly. ah oh wells, i think i'll take a while to find it back though.

http://www.aysh-.blogspot.com/ (im not online) says:
i dont make sense

We, too, could be glorious. says:
YOU DON'T ??

http://www.aysh-.blogspot.com/ (im not online) says:
oh no
i think ive lost it hahaha

We, too, could be glorious. says:
LOST WHAT!

http://www.aysh-.blogspot.com/ (im not online) says:
haha my sanity

We, too, could be glorious. says:
Oh
-shakes- ARE YOU OKAY!!!

http://www.aysh-.blogspot.com/ (im not online) says:
hahahaha i really dont know
hahahaha does that count as a yes?

sure it does. and sure, im just fine.

flahes her oh-so-shiny-blinding-braces-megawatt-smile.

2008-08-23T22:14:00.004+08:00

honey, you need to know

that you were never worth the wait.

but im still waiting. for your call. it's been 6 and a half hours and counting.

such perfect irony.

you got me heels over head & my world upside down, inside out. this is the crazy i live through and the same crazy i live for.

this is me. crazy and everything.

dont you think its hilarious, how someone can tell me "i know you too well" and not know me at all?

funny how this world judges. but there never was any justice to it all. its crazy the way i am and crazy what people want me to be, perfect and perfect.

give me a break.

sometimes, dont you wish, that the world would think its simply enough to be yourself?

and i really dont know if you understood a single line in my blogpost.

2008-08-20T22:42:00.008+08:00

she's a happy pill & way overdosed.

watch her smile

i just made myself a very happy little human being to walk the surface of the earth.

very very happy.

i decided to be nice and upload all the pictures from tuesday(tea appreciation excursion). then i printed out pictures to place in my wallet in the mean time. and i went to browse through my ancient photos to see how fugly i used to be.

and the whole time i was smiling spastically in front of my computer screen.

funny how everything feels so long ago. (no, i am not old.) exactly why pictures make me a happy happy kid.

they hold your smile forever. i remember someone telling me that before. explains alot doesnt it.

so enjoy.

haha so typical amanda

my awesome photography. kidding.

jean's trademark shot

tea appreciation excursion

talk about excursions man, i cant remember the last time i went on one. really went high and camwhored like crazy(as always i know).

lao shi!

that pillar is the love.

haha candid.

lixin's trademark shot

jollin's #1

and jollin's #2. haha.

yy and her happy moments

"Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha."

and i cant remember what i was laughing so hard about.

~~to see your face again.~~

2008-08-16T23:07:00.004+08:00

unsaid. and so much better.

"but i always miss you"

oh no.

sure amanda's going crazy.

forget study or movie dates with friends. suicide dates are starting to sound a little more attractive with school being way hectic and stressing their poor little kids til they pull all their hair out. in the end the school will be populated by a bunch of bald, stressed out 13 to 16 year olds who have absolutely no life other than mug mug mugging and more mugging.

find me a random wall to ram myself into.

poor wall. (and i already got a date to do this. haha.)

okay ignore amanda, im talking bonkers. the stress is getting to me i swear. but then again, i've always never made much sense.

and concrete evidence of how stressed up we are in school,

this is what we do during our precious lunch periods. amanda and amanda.

matching headphones and same sleeping angle. amanda's sleep alike.

2008-08-15T20:55:00.003+08:00

popping pills darling.

she's supposed to make it on her own?

woke up this morning running a temperature.

hardly slept through the night even though i took medicine which was supposed to make me sleepy. popping tablets down my throat every four hours to keep my fever down. missed two papers plus chinese oral today.

sheesh.

haha but forget it, optimism right?

thanks to all the kiddos for their get-well-soons.

anyway,

this was taken last monday.

im thankful for my brothers no matter how much they get on my nerves.

~~you're not here~~

2008-08-09T22:37:00.005+08:00

the little voices in her head.

perspective yo in a whole new manner.

i cant count the number of times someone has said to me after my hours of whining that "oh my gosh, amanda's crazy."

only cause i failed my math and i have too little fingers to count them on.

so today's blog post will be a little of what goes on inside the head of amanda. fascinating no?

little angel aysh: omg what are you doing?

little devil aysh: eh? what am i doing?

little angel aysh: you're blogging! you should be studying! common tests are what tuesday and there you go, still blogging! so typical amanda.

little devil aysh: but its national day! give me a break.

little angel aysh: you had a break yesterday and the day before and the day before and the day before and the day before and the day before. oh and the day before as well. GO STUDY NOW. besides, national day? no link dude.

little devil aysh: uh huh im studying okay. you cant blame me, diffusion takes time for knowledge to enlighten me. i might as well blog in the mean time.

little angel aysh: oh please. the prescence of the steep diffusion gradient of the high concentration of knowledge and the concentration of zero intelligence in your brain will increase the rate of diffusion. MUG. NOW.

haha keep guessing who won.

2008-08-08T22:33:00.005+08:00

you're so precious.

black & white's the painted rainbow in your world.

i started blogging with a whole lot to rant about.

then i uploaded the pictures and now im just stoning in front of my com wrecking my brain for what to type in this post.

oh well, proves im going bonkers all the same.

and getting older by the second.

keep monday away man i wanna stay fourteen. reminising the days when i was a chubby kid going to school everyday in a pinafoe and taking life one day at a time. those were the days when nothing really mattered and life just rocked no matter what cause i were having fun all the time.

so monday'll come and go and then on tuesday i can go around saying "oh. a decade ago i was 5 and loving it."

it actually is starting to sound quite cool now. haha omg im old.

~~you promised monday?~~

2008-08-06T20:00:00.002+08:00

step 2, smile.

this is amy the bimbo.

this is what my dearest partner, who sways from side to side and whines(skill picked up from yours truly and proud of it. heh.) when she sits next to me everyday in class, percieves me to be. she absolutely insists that i am a bimbo.

yuin yi: eh are you a bimbo?

aysh: huh? err no.

yuin yi: oh okay you are. only a bimbo denies she's one.

and that was how amanda/aysh/amy became a bimbo. oh wells.

anyway, doodling makes amanda a happy kid when school's taking its toll on her. (the followng doodles are of pure originality, ownership of www.aysh-.blogspot.com)

yesterday, "where are you"

today, "oh. you're not here. i miss you"

tomorrow, "but it's okay"

sweet, no?

2008-08-05T22:47:00.003+08:00

now im heels over head.

she's learning to take things one hurdle at a time.

step 1, breathe.

because when everything is tearing me to a million pieces,

she's not gonna make it fine, but she's gonna make it all the same.

2008-08-04T22:31:00.006+08:00

she's running away from all this crazy.

ran today.

it was a much better(and civilised) alternative to screaming my lungs off just to let everything out. (talk about ladies and leaders of tomorrow. sheesh.)

imagine what my neighbours would think if they see a kid screaming her lungs out through her window. 'oh my god its raining saliva', would probably be going through their heads. pity the people walking below my block no?

anyway,

its probably the monday blues or im just plain going crazy.

whatever it is, common tests arent very encouraging to add on to it all. so i'll be blogging a little less regularly(than i know my blog posts already are) and hopefully you'll find me mugging at some random library and not sleeping my ass away.

please continue to tag. *gleams.

if anyone is wondering where my previous post poofed into,

i just felt like deleting it. now for those who are giving me the no-amanda-i-so-dont-believe-you look then haha live with it. and for thoe who are just staring at my blog post going 'huh' then ignore this portion and continue reading.

and i apologise for my slow slow rate of posting and uploading of pictures i've owed for forever.

but no, hopefully to alot of people(reader)'s dissapointment, i am not the free-est person . i really cant imagine how i managed to post twice a day at the beginning of the year when im barely managing two posts per week right now.

so amanda shall return to her mugging routine to mug mug mug now.

& im learning to stand on my own. this time, im not running away.

2008-07-28T20:13:00.005+08:00

hello heaven.

hardcore camwhore.

oh hey it rhymes.

a little camwhoring makes amanda happy. alot of camwhoring gets amanda high. add a little childish fun and neoprints x2 and you get a very happy hyper amanda.

explains alot doesnt it. haha. anyway, school's off today so i went on a camwhore date with lixin. spent the savings away and had alot to laugh about. drooled over a few really hot dudes over lunch. and spent the rest of the day having tourists at the park stare at us while we camwhored.

subway! (excuse the horrible lightings and the um extra butt.)

it was pretty grafiti.

all the fun in the sun.

gotta mug gotta mug.

gotta mug gotta mug gotta mug.

2008-07-27T16:15:00.008+08:00

i are dancer. we is passion.

dancers. enough said.

"stand up to dance again even when you're afraid"

i missed the stage.

its been forever since we performed.(yes i know, we're getting really really old.)

the lightings and the music and the nerves. omg the nerves. haha. i really dont know how to explain this. its probably the rush of adrenaline with everything that you dont really realize until you hear the applause.

but you really cant imagine how hard i smiled after the performance yesterday evening.

i probably scared off a few people with my balding hairstyle and red red red makeup all over my face and my expression of laughing & trying not to cry at the same time.

but it was 5 minutes of magic.

sharon is the love. thaks for the other time my dear.

joan!

regina!

seniors!

toilet toilet. as always. haha.

evelyn norris awardee. smart ass lily! haha! we miss you.

karen! camwhore buddy!

we have no life.

karen & jou teng & i

eyeliner-ing. haha i look gross.

pretty faces.

and right now,

so tongue-tied. crying sucks. all it does is make my eyes puff up so badly. and then for two days after i'll just end up with huge eyebags like i havent slept in ages.

but then again, its always a convenient excuse.

thanks for making me smile.